Struggle is Joy

Why was it that my hardest semester as a Psychology major at BYU taught me the most about thriving?

It had all started out innocuously enough.  I was working part-time at a local burger joint and volunteering at my church, but my class load wasn't much heavier than I'd had in the past.  I didn’t think that the coming months would be exactly easy, but there was no particular indication that it would be worse than any other pair of terms I'd run across.

Then the assignments started rolling in, like the initial rumble of an avalanche before it sweeps down on top of you and pile-drives you off the mountainside.  I found myself staying up later and later to keep up with the demand, on top of the late nights I had to work for my job.  The early hours of the morning became my almost constant companion.  I had literally zero time for a social life outside of church and brief conversations with my roommates.  My goal of going on a date a week lay forgotten and derelict by the wayside.  I distinctly remember a moment when, walking to work, I realized that staying up late to do homework was close to the point of yielding diminishing returns:  Every hour of sleep I gave up made my brain run slower so that I only got marginally more done for every increment of time I gave to it.

That was one of my favorite semesters.

Why?

Because there is something about struggle that is valuable.  That moment when you exert yourself to the fullness of your capacity burns vibrant and alive.  You can taste the reality of it on the tip of your tongue.

Isn't there something awe-inspiring about fictional accounts of people rising up to confront seemingly insurmountable amounts of opposition?

Isn't there something even better about you actually doing that in your own life?

Isn't that why people run marathons, hike mountains, set world records, change life habits, and take on causes bigger than themselves?

When I worked at Burgers Supreme I learned that the best reason to work fast is because it's fun.  That crystallized freedom that comes at the apex of a leap translates to all walks of life, no matter how mundane.

We can help people see that, you and I. 

But struggle on its own isn't enough.  There must also be transcendence, a putting off of one's natural instinct to curl up into a fetal position and instead take it full on in the chest.

Why would someone do that?

There's only one answer to that question, and it is the key to life:  They love.

I'm going to keep saying that until it sinks in. 

You see, the reason why I liked that difficult semester so much is that despite the tremendous pressure, I didn't let my schoolwork get in the way of what was most important to me.  At the height of my distress, I sacrificed even more for who and what mattered more.  Instead of closing off, I opened up.  Instead of trying to avoid it, I met it head on.

Common religious philosophies teach that life is suffering.  True it is, but suffering is also joy. 

When we struggle, we actually start to live.  There have been times in my life that I have welcomed in pain like an old friend because it has killed my apathy and allowed me to feel more deeply.  Even better are the times that we struggle and suffer so that another person does not have to.  Then, pain is at its best.

Sometimes my biggest struggle is being so well off that you don't feel pain and instead wallow in your own normalcy, curling up and fading inside.

There are people in your life that struggle, who don't see the exhilaration of  triumph that comes with fully accepting and thus finally overcoming their insecurity and discomfort.  You can change that.  Maybe it will take time, and maybe you aren't completely convinced that grappling with hard things can be good (which is perfectly understandable since it can paradoxically also be very negative and damaging when approached the wrong way), but all it takes is a little faith and you'll be able to reach people in ways that you never thought you could.

Show them their capacity to overcome.  Show them the power that they have to open up their hearts and let light in.  Don't let their circumstances dictate what they can become.  You be the change that they need in their lives.  If you will do that, I promise you that you will find something indescribable.  And you, like me, will do everything you can to help people see and feel and know and understand what you do, even to the point of setting up your own blog explicitly for that purpose.

Then the happiness will spread from your heart like rays of light to the furthest most ends of the universe.  And you will hold sacred the struggle that got you there.

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Picture attributions:  Mark Ingle, "Struggle," https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/legalcode Mark Ingle, "Trapped," https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/legalcode Lorraine, "Please, remember me happily, By the rosebush laughing," https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/legalcode Hernan Pinera, "Delicate" https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/legalcode